… before going for it. Before I work with people we tend to analyze the situation for quite some time so I get a decent picture. Before we do so together, how much have you thought about it yourself? There’s plenty to think of before taking bigger decisions.
What’s actually broken enough for you to think of this?
What seems to be the actual problem?
What are the symptoms?
When thinking of this one, try to list all of them. Pain – all of them including where/when, depressive feelings, feeling of overwhelming stress and no tolerance to stress, lack of energy, sleep quality, food intake etc…
What’s the cost of staying where you are right now?
Plenty of people think that staying where they are will cost them everything good in life. As long as they’re stuck where they are there’s practically nothing positive if they’re ill enough. Many on the bottom have very little positive things left which is likely why I’ve had those who think of it as if I’ve saved their life when we’re done since they went from suicidal to functioning and contempt.
Where are you right now and what’s your plan?
Are you in the state of “I’m in pain, I’m tired and I can’t seem to keep up with my life! Where do I begin?!” If you’re confused, feel hopeless and have unexplained physical pains here and there you ought to have one – or get one asap.
What’s the price you pay in
What CAN’T you do anymore?
If you got to the end of your life and you were always in pain, depressed and bothered – but THEN noticed there was something you could do about it, what would that be worth?
If you noticed five years from now, that there was actually something you COULD do about the issues, what would that be worth? (That’s five all too wasted years…)
What would you pay to go back in time and fix that?
If you got to the end of your life and you were always in pain, depressed and bothered – would that be a life worth living? Do you think it is a worthy life today?
Hopelessness and a confusion as a result of not knowing is a large issue with these matters. There is rarely good enough help to get from healthcare and as far as I know rarely any decent prognosis. Combined with a downward spiral since the symptoms agitate each other, things generally tend to get worse if they don’t get managed. That creates a quite deep, dark pit where some hope and light could be useful. Having a constant guide and partner in these times seems to be quite valuable to most.
When trying to tend to burnout, depression or long term pain doing it the wrong way might take you further down the hole you’ve dug and make it worse and doing nothing leads to the trend being the same, which seems to be a negative one. The solution might be quite counter intuitive and getting it wrong is easy – if it doesn’t feel like you’re on the right way, change things up or get help to get out of that hole or you might be going further down.
Burnout might make you battle things harder or completely inactive which might make it worse.
Depression might get you into behaviors that doesn’t make you feel better in the long run – but rather worse.
Pain daily gnawing on your quality of life and energy might, just as the depressive troubles get you into behaviors that doesn’t make it better, but rather worse in the long run.
They cannot be worth keeping when it’s possible to get rid of. The price is too high! It’s a disability robbing you of all of the activities you might want to do and/or make you feel down and bitter. It might make life entirely without joy, light and ease. It’s practically costing the entire amount of happiness you’d get throughout the time you’ve been suffering from it.
Just as with everything else you do, the more time you’re doing something the better you get at it. That works for behaviors and feelings. The further you go on with behaviors the harder they stick and they get harder to change. Unfortunately it’ll work with pain, the thought patterns of depression, anxiety and most other things as well. Everything we do and practice are skills – so everything we do plenty of we’re getting better at. And you won’t get LESS pain, you’ll become a pro at feeling pain. You might get central sensitization and the brain gets even more sensitive. Emotions bothering you? Without changing anything there won’t be less darkness. The gothic embrace will feel more natural and obvious over time and quite soon it’s the normal state where you don’t feel as if you’re in any darkness, but others are watching the world through some sort of pink glasses. You’re the objective one and the perspective changes to “this is how it is and this is how it will be”. Changing it as soon as possible makes it as easy as it gets. It’ll never get easier on its own. It’ll likely get harder if you just let it be for a while.
Some beliefs people I’ve helped came in with – but that changed as we got further…
- Healthcare will save me!
- Stress management is easily done. [I think it’s quite simple, but not easy.]
- I’ll take the weekend off! I don’t need help with that.
- Coaching? Or… therapy? I’m not sick – and I DON’T want someone asking personal stuff. I’ll medicate instead. That’ll do it!
- Pain is pain. I’m just a little tense! I’ll go have a massage a couple of times a week instead.
- I’ve tried healthcare, they couldn’t do anything so no one can.
- Already tried going to a psychiatrist. I didn’t like him.
- Physio? Well, I tried that and I didn’t get better.
- Physio? He didn’t do anything! I just got a bunch of things to do myself!
- I’ve heard it’s chronic, so there’s nothing to do about it.
- Depression and anxiety is just something that shows up without any good reason. It runs in my family, so it’ll keep haunting me.
- They told me it’s idiopathic or psychosomatic, so there’s nothing to do about it…
- It’s too expensive to waste money on services – I want to buy someTHING for my money!
Though, what’s really worth anything?
How do you want to spend time and money?
What do you want to achieve?
Being well, feeling well and getting better – or stuff?
How would things change for you and those around you if you really got better?
Payments are final and you are exclusively responsible for the decision to implement the ideas, concepts and teachings from what we do since I can not live your life for you, nor can I implement things for you or change things in your surroundings, which is why I can and will not be responsible for any action/inaction or for any direct/indirect result of your use of the ideas, concepts or teachings. I’ve had people who want help – and then vanish without ever showing up again. When that’s the case, I cant possibly help anyone achieve anything.
Neither your personal trainer nor your physio will do the workout for you, but they sure can help you get it done.
Your psychologist won’t manage your thoughts at all times, but they might give you the tools you need to get better at doing so.
Since it’s even been shown that it’s hard to get people to take their medicine in a good enough way by swallowing pills or using a cream once they get a prescription, I can’t guarantee that you’ll change behaviors or begin to take responsibility of things you want to get in order. Taking pills ought to be a quite easy solution to solve something where changing things might be quite hard.
Too little is within my control to be able to take on such an unreasonable responsibility as it would be to guarantee things. I sure can guarantee that I’ll do what I’m in control of; I’ll do what I can in helping you get where you want to be.
There can be no guarantees regarding your success, though I have had zero coaching-clients showing dissatisfaction after a finished project until this day.
If it does sound like something you’d like – head over to contact to get in touch.