I reflected on my values yesterday.A.
My brother told me that he just bought a new apartment for a hefty sum. He’s one year older than me. I immediately went to the thoughts “oh, my god. He just bought an apartment for THAT much. How big of a failure am I?! I’ve got to start saving money. NOW!” and started bashing myself.
That’s when I’ve been sitting for days, practically, to list things I truly value higher than an expensive apartment downtown. Despite that I felt like a failure. Funny how the brain directly goes to the norm say you “ought to” value rather than listening to what you truly think.
I’m happy that it just took a couple of minutes to understand what I was doing, and by doing so I could stop, shake it off and move on. I wouldn’t have done that without you…
Previous end results have of course varied depending on what they suffered from the most. “Learning enough of what they needed to know to get their life back from pain or stress” is powerful, and more or less a summary – but indeed vague. So I’ll list some of the results.
-Will to live
– Understanding of their needs and what they truly valued (to be able to act THERE instead of in the wrong directions).
– Awareness of their surroundings from mindfulness
– Mental capacity
– Sleep quality
– Self confidence
– Physical strength and capacity
– Insight and a new perspective on human relationships.
– Sick leave
– Panic attacks, lying on the floor crying
– Headaches and migraines (From 28/30 days to practically zero makes quite a difference)
– Depressive symptoms such as suicidal thoughts
– Medications; anti-depressants, opioids, muscle relaxants, benzodiazepines, blood pressure
– Involuntary stay-at-home weekends in a complete wreck, crying, rather than doing what they love.
– Sleepless nights
– Entire days wasted sleeping
– Neurological pain
– Unexplainable lower back- or neck pain
– Nerve pain in the legs or arms
– Bothering, itching skin
So they can get back to
– Hobbies and sports
– Being a friend and/or a partner
– Taking care of themselves, their home and THEIR KIDS (being a mum and going from not being able to carry small children to being able to makes a difference).
– Actually having a sex life again, once again feel some lust and have the capacity to act on it.
Where the last column once again gives the individual a social life, a place to be and a a feeling of belonging. One could of course rant about social cohesion, but a place to belong is good enough for now.
If depression bothers you – reach out and let’s talk! I might not be the right instance for you, but perhaps I can give you some word of advice or send you on the right path. I don’t try to help those I don’t feel like I can help, so asking me will be entirely harmless. Use the button below and I’ll do my best to get back to you as soon as I can.
Since I heard Nina Simones song “Feeling good” when I was eleven, it’s been one of my favorite songs and I’ve always wanted to experience what she sings about.
To make it short, I’ll summarize that I haven’t been especially well, at all or at any time, for more than a couple of weeks at a time. It’s been such a a dark place I’ve been on my way to… something else, several times, despite psychologists, treatments and max dosage of anti-depressants. This fall I felt as if it’s enough. Either I’m out of here for good or try something else. So I wrote to Patric.
We finished my twelve week-program not long ago. I’ve worked hard on myself, but with the best coaching and support in the world. I don’t use any anti-depressants anymore. My waist decreased 15 cm (and we barely worked on that part). I sleep. I can be active all day and I can, after an adolescence and then some spent in darkness finally sing with Nina Simone. It’s a voice not even a mother can love, but I’ll sing.
Thank you, Patric.
It’s a new dawn
It’s a new day
It’s a new life
And I’m feeling good
I started going to Patric at Dolor for massage once a month for about three years ago. In addition to helping me get rid of stiffness in my shoulders and neck, Patric came up with tips and tricks on how I could get rid of headaches, pain in my jaw, etc. My monthly visits worked well and I felt more relaxed in my body. This until March 2020. My stiffness had now instead become pain in my shoulders and neck. Patric asked, as he usually does, what could be the reason. I said that there´s a lot at work, which makes me tense.
In fact, the pain was due to death within the family, working from home, and the whole corona situation (worry, anxiety, fear, uncertainty, etc.). Overall, in June 2020, I got burnout with depression, sleep problems and extreme pain in my body as a result.
After three months full-time sick leave, I contacted Patric to book a massage as usual, but he asked if it was really a massage I needed. He said that he had started working more and more with “projects” and in September we started a “ten-week program”. The goal of the program was that I would sleep better, get rid of pain in shoulders and neck, train shoulders and back in order to prevent pain, run at least twice a week and last but not least, be able to work full time again (I worked half time a that moment).
We met twice a week at first. We trained strength, and Patric dry-needled where it hurt, and foremost, we talked about how my situation could be improved. Between our meetings, I got tools for “help to self-help” and homework to complete. In November I started to work 75%. I now sleep well, train strength and run continuously, my anxiety and worry are gone, and foremost, I have regained my energy and can do more than to just work! I’m not back on full time at the time of writing, but the plan is to go up in January.
Patric, thank you very much for not only helping me get out of a depression and getting rid of pain with your coaching, dry-needling and your positive attitude, but also that you got me to start exercising (and to think it’s fun!) and have energy over! As we said when we last met, we did this together!
When I first contacted Patric at Dolor I was in a position where I clung to the belief – or rather the wish – that the hands or needles through dry needling could make the wonders I needed with the long term, persistent pain I had, that made everyday life look darker and darker.
I hurt here, there and practically everywhere. I had will, but i lacked energy and fatigue was all that was left.
The engine – my drive, ambition and motivation sputtered at most. I wouldn’t have come close to the solution on my own. Eventually I couldn’t get to work; the work I went to for so many years and the one thing that really got me going. Sick leave. I went through a wide range of examinations, procedures and check-ups which led to various pharmaceuticals that did help, partially, but the side effects gave new symptoms.
Eventually I learned that Patric really understood that the intervention might have to be far bigger than a fistful of pills or a decent massage. From day one I felt a truly genuine interest from him regarding my entire situation, cause and effect. Conclusion: “tired as a result of pain” but perhaps an equal dose “pain as a result of being tired”.
For eight months I met Patric regularly, a period where we had contact several times a week. He helped me analyze, separate and examine. Reflect on what feels, how it feels and where it feels. Make the intangible tangible and thereby possible to grasp, seize and affect.
The sessions of brainstorming, reflection and feedback where many.
Often pleasant meetings, on a walk in the forest or among sheep on a pasture, laying down on his treatment table or leaning back in the couch.
Sometimes troublesome and bothering, accompanied by tears and anxiety.
But Patrics positive energy and calm gives a sense of safety which really helps when it gets tough. Not least when new emotional epiphanies needs to be processed.
Patric has given me a wide arsenal of tools, from old and well tried to new and tailored. We’ve then tried and tried again and removed what didn’t fit; we kept those that kept me getting forward. He helped me see the answers and find solutions and first and foremost helped me change. I have processed past events, removed relationships that didn’t fit and added others. Behaviors have been questioned (most often kindly), studied and discussed. Consequences of behaviors have been made visible and in an almost imperceptible way he got me through issue after issue, task after task through one active choice at a time, based on my values and capacity. The tools made me powerful and made it possible to execute!
Patrics presence in every meeting was 100%. His availability and flexibility in though and action, an openness for peoples differences and strange quirks, along a structured and huge warm heart lays way for lovely collaborations with nothing but a dream team for someone who really wants to make a change in their life. In my case it led me to, after half my life, knowing what goals I have, what I truly value and what I actually want to achieve.
From stubborn and I’ll-do-it-myself to humbly accepting help. I can actually state that at last, energy and motivation increase and pain and fatigue decrease.
Definitely worth the money, the time, the tears and the laughs. A BIG thank you, Patric!