Crash: The wall

In Swedish we say that we hit the wall to describe a burnout. Still no-on has seen the wall. One day you just hit it. I must admit that it does not happen without warning though. For some people it just takes longer to reach it. But there are warning signs. I knew I was not feeling well. But I convinced myself that I could still do a little bit more.

I hit the wall on a cold and dark day in January. There was a snow storm passing the region. I was sent to the office of my boss to get more assignments. I remember her voice echoing in the room. I saw her lips moving but I could not understand the words. The room got dark in front of my eyes and my legs felt weak. I crashed on the floor. I just lay there for what seemed like an eternity before I whispered: I cannot do it.

I don’t remember much of what happened that day. I only know I was totally incapable to function. I should have gone home. But for some reason I stayed. A few hours of rest would do wonders, I thought. Oh, how wrong I was.

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