Have you ever watched the Pixar movies Soul or Onward? Sometimes it feels as if those kind of teach the same things as I do…
I’m Patric and tend to Dolor, a place in Uppsala, Sweden that help people with their troubles in a more eclectic way than I usually see in other places. Or well… Place? Nowadays it’s not just a place since it’s digital as well since talking to people seems to be quite possible with digital solutions by now. With the digital parts in the blog and podcast I’ll start out by talking about my view on these things, rather than tending to the subjects at hand at once. That way you’ll get a clue about why I’m reasoning or rambling as I do. I want you to get a decent idea about how I think and what I do before I get into the details so you can mimic it if you want to help yourself. There’s a thought behind the structure. That doesn’t prevent you from skipping parts and just going for what seems interesting however.
I’d prefer if you go for it in order, but you do as you wish. =)
Anyway. To the relevant parts… I think people are worth good enough care to get better, well or preferably even REALLY GREAT. I’ve grown up among depression, long term pain and, as years progress, more and more people around me have burned out and got what some call “exhaustion disorder”. It’s fair to say that most people don’t deserve that – and they sure don’t deserve far inferior help than necessary to get well. I sure do believe people need to take responsibility for their own lives, but if that’s not even an option if you don’t know HOW TO it suddenly gets tricky. So… I try to teach people. It seems as if I’ve found some things that work quite well, and that’s why I’m doing this. To try to get people on their way and nudge them in the right direction with the tools they might need on their journey. That might sound fuzzy at start, but let’s look at an example and make a really, really short case study.
Woman, ~40, 2 kids.She lies awake at night for hours and hours, scared and angry all the time and practically can’t feel any joy in life.
Here’s the list of symptoms we made up prior to starting:
- Affected skin from the stress
- Super sensitive to stress, what I tend to call stress intolerance.
- Stopped feeling any joy in life what so ever
- Never relaxed.
- No motivation for anything and everything just feels like problems.
- Comfort eating.
- Afraid of hunger.
- Bad appetite, bloated, diarrhea. (Interesting combo?)
- “I just feel BAD!”
- Sad, tired and worried all the time.
- Trouble sleeping.
- Bad relationship with the husband.
- Hate the weekend because of the bad atmosphere at home.
- Night terrors.
- Bruxism, or “biting really hard and grinding her teeth when she’s sleeping”.
- Immunological troubles from the stress, Herpes bothering.
- Always cold and freezing.
We deduced that the goal setting for the project would be to
- Learn to handle stress
- Be able to sleep for an entire night without waking up
- Have a decent relationship to food, or at least an acceptable behavior in relation to it.
- Learn to handle anxiety.
- Get back to her primary hobby she had neglected for too long
- Get done with and get rid of the old apartment and get into the new one
- Work out daily
Twelve weeks of changing things up – and all of those are crossed of the lists.All of a sudden it’s rather outbursts of joy and gratitude than tears and rage.
But this isn’t really any DISEASE is it? There seems to be an entirely new sort of troubles emerging with health that emerge from stress and how we live today, rather than from actual disease. Lifestyle disease such as CVD, cancer, chronic obstructive pulmonary disease, asthma, stroke and diabetes are quite new, but this stuff is even more so. And these questions seem to need another approach than the healthcare systems seem to provide in a decent way, from what I see, anyway. In these cases a diagnosis and a pill doesn’t seem to work very well in plenty of cases, though that’s the approach in a large portion of the cases when people do seek medical attention. When life is the problem, is it likely that a pill is the solution? Sure, they might have an impact.
- Painkillers for pain works, so it might be a good idea.
- Anti-depressants seems to work for some.
- Calming things and sleep aid might knock you out.
But it’s rare that those solve the the entire thing. Those interventions often miss to address the full picture. In these, often quite complex cases, it’s important to tend to the entire life, or at least a big enough part of it. Sick leave and pills might not save you – it might just postpone life for years, without progression. That’s what I’d like to address. I want you to take care of your life. Find out what’s actually important, think for yourself and do what’s good for you.
The plan, purpose and goal of actually doing the writing and creation of content to get out there is to share some perspective on the troubles that Dolor tends to. That ought to be done best not just by those who tend to getting the troubles better – but also by those who’ve been affected. So there’s some guest posts at the blog as well from three different clients who’ve mentioned writing earlier. Those three have been bothered by different things, one with each problem the coaching tends to – depression, long term pain and burnout.
Quite bad cases, which hopefully makes them more intriguing, interesting and colorful… or perhaps pitch black and depressing. We’ll see.
The point is for people to get some perspective and insight, hopefully some hope and ideally some ideas. Those who get the lovely results mentioned above are those who act, change things up and are willing to truly struggle and strive to make progress. Nothing solves itself and change is usually hard – but when one way of living and doing things got you to the bottom it ought to be worth changing those behaviors. Change in these cases doesn’t necessarily have to be something truly tough and challenging either, it might be to learn how to NOT do things. Like saying no, resting and look at what you prioritize. People are complex and need different things. The right tool need to be used at the right place and at the right time.